Forgiveness: Three

Forgiveness: Three

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, 
because fear has to do with punishment. 
The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18 NIV

Moving forward. I know for me, my trust has been shattered.  I have walls up.  Part of forgiveness is not putting the burden of what one person did on other people, and learning how to have boundaries with those who hurt you.  

If fear is part of love, it is not truly love.  Perfect love drives out fear.  So what does that look like?

The example we have of truly perfect love is in Jesus.  When I get into a situation where I don't know what to do, I try to focus on how Jesus responded to similar situations, and His teachings on them.  Here's what I know: Jesus had boundaries.  We get a perfect picture of this on the night He goes into the garden to pray.  His disciples come with Him, but His closest three get to come a bit further into the garden with Him, and then He leaves room for just Him and God.  Jesus treats everyone with love and compassion, but He does not allow everyone to crowd Him all of the time.  When people hurt Him, He doesn't retaliate, but He forgives.  However, He does not accept the sin, the hurt, or be close friends with those who hurt Him.

This is a lesson I've desperately needed.  For me, forgiveness always meant moving forward, with the person.  However, sometimes, forgiveness means forgiving, moving forward, and not having that person really be a part of your life anymore.  

If there is fear involved with loving someone, it is not love.  I don't mean fear of like, anything.  If you are truly in love, that can be scary: how are we going to pay the bills together? What if this person gets hurt? I mean, there are fears involved with loving someone.  But if the person scares you, and if their love scares you, it is not love.  

This was a lesson I needed to learn so long ago.  His love did scare me.  I did not feel like myself.  I felt scared.  However, I did not listen to that.  But now that I know, I will not return to a love that scares me.  I think it is so important to learn from our pain.  

Perfect love is not punishment.  I do not want to punish him.  I want to move on, and I want to heal.  And that is how I know I am finally at a point in which I am truly forgiving and growing.  I'm not fully healed yet.  But learning that fear has not place in love is an important message, especially for women in 2018.

Write

How can you put up loving boundaries, but not walls, in your relationships?  With the person(s) that hurt you? With people you meet?  With other people in your life?  

Pray

Dear God, thank you for the example of your Son.  Thank you for His teaching of perfect love, and thank you for your perfect love.  Sometimes fear rules my life, and I'm sorry about that.  Help me to remember that there is no fear in love.  Help me to put up walls, but not boundaries, so my heart can be filled with Your love.  In Jesus's name I pray, amen. 


End of Devotional Series: Forgiveness

 I am still learning and healing.  I am still forgiving, and learning what that means in a healthy, Godly way.  So while I know there is more I could include, for now, I am keeping this series at three posts.  Once I heal and learn more, I will hopefully have more to share about forgiveness in a second series about this.  Thank you for reading, and be on the look out for another series, coming soon! 

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